A Real Irish Wake...r.i.p

On Tuesday the 15th of September 2009, the world lost an absolute gentleman, my father-in-law died. After a long undiagnosed illness his body finally gave up.
My mother in law was away in Lourdes, France, as nobody expected this outcome.

My husband and his siblings had to meet their mother at the airport and tell her that her husband was gone. Devastating stuff. She had to make decisions on when or what to do about the funeral.
Here in Ireland, we have old fashioned wakes. It is a wonderful way to give people a great send off. There ways of wakes have been done for years and it truly is a great way of dealing with the grief and everyone know what to do.
My father in law died at app. 7.45am, by 8.30 that night he was in his home, in his open coffin. There he would stay until Thus morn in the best room of the house so people can come and say goodbye and pay their respects to the family. It is tradition that the deceased will not be left alone in the room at all for the 2 days before the funeral. People come to the home and see, touch or kiss him goodbye. It is tradition to offer the visitors a drink, a cup of tea or a drop of whiskey(or whatever is your fancy) and a bite to eat. Basically, everyone get drunk around the coffin with people in and out of the house all day long.
My father in law was a very popular man, he was loved and adored by many. All his brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, grandchildren, friends, workmates, people he went to school with, nieces, nephews, neighbours, friends of his children, teachers of his children, hospital staff, all my family and friends, my aunts and uncles all my husbands workmates all came and paid their respects to this man in his home.
That's alot of people. I never made as much tea in all in all my life. I never ate as many sandwiches either. People come out of the woodwork to help out the family. I didn't have to ask for babysitters, friends just offered their services while brushing away my thanks.

My children has lost their Granda. My children were/are devastated. My husbands heart is broken. My mother in laws heart is broke. This is the saddest shit I have ever had to deal with. This is the first time i my life I have been so involved in death.

My mother in law wanted her kids and grandchildren close by her all the time. She wanted each grandchild to be involved in the mass on Thurs morning, from the oldest at 22 to the youngest, (my baby)2yrs.
They each had a job to do. They each did their jobs without breaking down. I was so proud of them all. There is 11 grandchildren that are very close to each other and became even closer these past few days.
After the mass and burial of my father in law we headed off to his local pub and had food and then the drinking began. The older children were there for a little while and then they were collect by their sitters.
The place was completely packed full of people to give this wonderful man great send off. I got hugged and kissed by loads and loads of people(hope no-one has swine flu!) I got to speak to people I haven't seen in years. We all had the best craic. It was a true Irish wake. He would have loved it.

Things I have experienced the last few days;

I watched my husband carry his fathers coffin.
I watched 6 grown men carry this coffin with tears streaming down their cheeks.
My mother in law asked me "What will I do now?" I had no answer.
I saw my kids write letters/draw pictures for their Granda, to put in his coffin, with the tears flowing down their cheeks.
I saw the most amazing amount of human kindness.
I saw old men cry.
I listened to fabulous stories of my father in law as a lad.
I laughed so much.
I cried so much.
I drank too much.
I smoked too much.
I have never felt so much love.


My lovely father in law, G.
Thank you for being you. Thank you for making my husband the amazing man he is, thank you for loving me, thank you for allowing me to care for you in your illness, thank you for loving my children. I love you. I promise we will all take great care of your wife. I promise you will never be forgotten.
Rest in peace.