Has the Fog cleared yet?

Ahem...is this thing still working???

2010-10-05T15:04:00.000-07:00

"I can do it all by myself" "I can do it all by myself" "I can do it all by myself"

It's ten past eleven, she is in bed 3 hours and it's still ringing in my ears....................

Edinburgh Rocks!!

2010-06-07T14:44:00.000-07:00

I have just returned from a weekend away in Edinburgh, Scotland.
A friend of mine is getting married in 6 weeks so of course it was her Hen party.
Fifteen women and three gay men. I have a sore stomach from all the laughing and I may have even peed a little in my panties. Some of the people I went with are the funniest people I know, so you can imagine the craic.
We enjoyed the beautiful city of Edinburgh and the weather was very kind to us in our open air bus tour, thankfully. We ate amazing food, my taste buds were hopping. We drank an astonishing amount of alcohol. Pear cider is gorgeous, Sangria is delicious, cocktails with names that are long forgotten were sooo good and of course the many many vodka and red bulls were just the best. We all dressed up as English policewoman/men and the bride-to-be was dressed as a prisoner. We all looked gorgeous, tasteful not tacky, I swear. Had a fucking ball. I will definitely return to Edinburgh, it is beautiful and full of interesting history building and the people were so friendly. As for the accent, wow, so sexy. I could easily listen to them speak ALL DAY LONG even though I only understand about 40% of what they were saying.
Amazing time had by all.
Got a great reception from the kids, they were happy with their slab sized bar of cadbury's chocolate bar and happy to have Mammy back. I was delighted to be reunited with my amazing husband, who told me to enjoy every moment and not to worry about himself or the kids all weekend. He is just the best husband in the world and I don't care if it sounds like am bragging but I really got the best man for me. Enough said.

I am absolutely exhausted and am heading up to bed now.

Oíche mhaith duit.

Happy 13th Sweatheart

2010-05-11T12:19:00.000-07:00

This time 13 yrs ago, I went to bed 9mths pregnant, a huge massive belly. It hurt to walk up them stairs.
At 4am I got up to go to the toilet, when it seemed like this wee went on forever, I realized it was my waters that broke. I called for my then boyfriend now husband to come quickly but don't wake up the 19mth old baby in the cot.
Panic stations. ON MY DUE DATE, this baby was going to arrive, how fan-fucking-tastic.
Later on that evening at 20.24, my beautiful baby girl was born, weighing in at 9lbs exactly.
I was thrilled to have a daughter and it still thrills me to this day that I have a daughter never mind two!!
I feel like the luckiest woman on earth to have you in my life. You have amazed me nearly everyday of your life. I have learned so much about myself from parenting you. I have struggled with my own mother for years and was deeply concerned that history would repeat itself. Thank God me and you are doing fine. Yes, we have our differences but no more than others. I see so much of myself in you and I try to be a little kinder and more understanding to you.
I simply adore you. You have made me so proud on so many occasions. You are kind, thoughtful, generous, dilligent, soooo beautiful, funny, grumpy, so not a morning person, sporty, cheeky, musical, trustworthy. You are one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

We have our good days and bad days but everyday know that I love you.

happy 13th Birthday Sweetheart,
Love,
Mammy xx

Ireland is in mourning.

2010-05-06T06:03:00.000-07:00

Ireland is mourning the loss of the great Gerry Ryan. The most famous man in our small land. He was an amazing radio broadcaster who brought so much fun, laughter, compassion, empathy to the people of Ireland every morning.
My heart goes out to his children, wife, family and friends. My deepest condolences to them all.
I can only imagine the loss you are suffering.

Personally, I can't believe he is gone. I am so sad. Each morning he made me laugh, think and sometimes cry. He was a magical story teller who brought us, his listeners, with him on his adventures. He shared his family life with us so generously. He wasn't perfect and never pretended to be either. He touched the lives of loads of us. If you were pissed off about anything it wouldn't be uncommon for people to say "Give Gerry a ring"
He was one funny fucker and people would be taking for days about the topics on the Gerry Ryan Show.

His funeral was streamed live on the RTE website and I watch as much as is possible, with a very chatty 2yr old, who kept saying "Who's Gerry Ryan?" "Is Gerry dead?", "Is he gone to Heaven to Grandad?", "Why are you crying Mammy?" about 200 times!

Gerry, may you rest in peace. Thank you for being you. I will miss you a lot.

Happy St. Patricks Day

2010-03-16T18:10:00.000-07:00

Happy Paddy's Day to one and all.

The plan for tomorrow is to wear something green, paint the older kids faces with shamrocks, green their hair, light up hairbands and the obligatory badge for the coat and head down to the local parade.
Afterwards we will go to the carnival, which is in town for Paddy's day, only for a little while, with the prices they charge for each ride.
Then head home for a bowl of stew.
I won't be drowning the shamrock, no, my shamrock will be completely dry as it has been for years.

In Paddy's days of the past, we went to the pub straight after the parade and stayed there for the day, drank green drinks, listen to traditional Irish music, have great craic, fall home with a half eaten bag of chips.......those were the days.

I am always proud to be Irish but on Saint Patricks Day I am so much more. It puffs out my chest the way the world acknowledges this day.

Have a good one!!

ps my cousin picked up his American wife with the line "Have you any Irish in you?, well would you like some?"

Is it a good thing or a bad thing????

2010-01-08T09:39:00.000-08:00

All schools in Ireland are closed until next Thurs, 14th of January, due to the weather. Ireland hasn't seen weather like this since 1967, apparently.
While I am happy for my kids as they are loving the snow, I was kind of looking forward to the quietness of just me and the baby at home. The older kids are sleeping in until late, well, apart from my eldest son, who still gets up at the crack of dawn at age 14.
Its crazy over here, everyone is in a panic. Snow and below 0 degrees, we are definitly not used to this weather nor have we the clothing for it. My mother bought enough gloves for all the kids in the street and she has finally ran out as the kids keep changing them when they get wet while the other ones dry on the radiators. Wet clothes everywhere is not something I enjoy. Kids are going down the hill on blow up boats and pieces of wood, everyone is out playing in the snow, kids and adults. The roads are very dangerous to drive on, so I am going to do the shopping now and stock up as this part of the country is expecting things to get much worse.
Slainte.

Christmas Preparations

2009-12-02T15:25:00.000-08:00

Christmas is my favourite time of the year, I just love it. The shopping, the food, kids off for the 2 weeks, my husband off work for a few days and then its my 9yr old sons 10th birthday on the 28th. Its a busy time of the year, so exciting.

I will put up the Christmas trees this weekend. I can't wait to see N's reaction to it. We are all talking about Christmas so much that she knows its a great thing but shes not too sure what its all about.

I have a lot of stuff bought, nothing wrapped, I'll do that when I have every ones pressies.

Christmas will be a bit different this year. My father-in-law won't be here.

My mother-in-law wants all her kids to have dinner together this year. I can really understand that. She is having a tough time dealing with her grief.

She has bought herself a locket to put her husbands picture and a piece of his hair into. My heart breaks for her, the poor divil

So this means that we will all go out to my sister-in-laws house for dinner, she lives in an extremely large house and will be well able to cope with 8 adults and 9 kids. We will each bake or cook something as this is the sister-in-law who is pregnant, so she'll need a lot of help.

She only lives about 10 mins away so will head out to her house at 2pm, have dinner and chill for a bit.

Later we will head over to my parents house, where all my family will congregate for a drinking and singing session. There will be 12 adults and 13kids, plus maybe a few neighbours will drop in. This tradition has been going on for years but hasn't happened in the past 2 years, so everyone is really looking forward to it this year.

As everywhere is closed on Christmas day and St Stephens day, every home in Ireland has loads of food and drink purchased weeks in advance. You'd think it was going out of fashion. Although from 6pm on the 24th ALL shops and business' will be closed(or opened at certain times) until January.

I do love this but in the middle of that week my son has his birthday. Its really difficult to buy a cake so in previous years I have bought on and stuck it in the freezer. This year he wants me to bake my chocolate cake, so that's grand, easy peasy!!

I have "met" 2 very creative ladies through this blog, http://http//thebaynhamfamily.blogspot.com/
http://http//crickleberrycottage.blogspot.com/
so I was wondering if either of you two very talented ladies could give me any ideas on what I could make to bring to my sister-in-laws home on Christmas Day, maybe a small gift or souvenir of the day. No pressure, I know you both have very busy lives. I hope you both don't mind me asking you in a post but really ladies, you two and my brother are my only readers!!

I may update again before Christmas. There are many things I would like to write here but I am still a bit wary of anyone I know in real life reading here, I know I am being a bit silly but jaysus if I did write what I wanted, there may be blood shed!!

Best wishes to you and yours.

A little look at where my life is at, at the moment.

2009-11-20T02:31:00.000-08:00

This is N holding her nephew. I must she say, she was very gentle with him so much more gentle than with her dolls.

This is what happens when you don't put the sudocrem away when your finished.

I am such a good mother I grabbed the camera before I grabbed the cloth to clean up!!

Its a Boy!!!!

2009-11-11T15:13:00.000-08:00

My step daughter had a baby boy, 8lbs 10oz, after a long labour and finally delivered by c-section.
This is THE best news ever!!! So happy!!! Well done sweetheart and thank you.

Things I am enjoying at the moment.

2009-11-08T16:14:00.000-08:00

Things are a bit difficult at the moment and I am not feeling the most positive. So I have decided to try and focus on the things that make me happy.

1. Spending time with my husband without the kids.

2. My 2yr old (not the other 3....we'll say no more)

3. My step-daughter and the fact that her baby(my grandchild) is due to be born on the 17th of this month.

4. Sky+

5. Ice-cream

6. The X Factor

7. Having an hour where I am completely on my own, in my house, with nothing to do(happens, fuck all)

8. Glee.

9. "I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here" is back on next Sunday, we are all happy about that.

I am struggling here, which is not my usual form.

10. Patterned tights.

Right, that's it, I can do no more. Jaysus, I hope the next time I come here I will be a little bit more myself.

Go raibh mile mhaith agat agus slan.

A Good Auld Rant.

2009-10-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

Why is it when my husband and I have a big row and I "over-react" the very next day I get my period and he thinks "Ha, that's why she was like a lunatic, I am not a dickhead at all" and I fucking hate that because I know he is a little bit right but still a fucking dickhead for even thinking that!! ( I know how his brain works)

Why is it when someone dies some people have to be assholes and try to measure each others grief and be all assholey about it. And become really really selfish and hurt my husband. I want to kill the fuckers but I won't. I will shut my mouth and simmer.

Why is it when your feeling really shit and the person you want to help is feeling even more shit and they have more reason to feel shit than I do, so you have to shut your gob and simmer.

Why the fuck is it, that the friend you need most lives the furthest away from you.

Why is it, my eldest son/child turned 14 last month and he still kisses me or his Dad every morning outside school without a care of who sees him. He is growing up so fast and becoming very wise as he gets older with a lot of common sense. There have been a few occasions lately were I have taken his advice on matters.

Why is it, my 12yr old daughter that is so beautiful, talented, brainy, funny, kind, loving, giving and compassionate, yet not be as super confident as some of her friends. Although some of her friends are so full of themselves its a bit much and I wouldn't like either. See, there is no pleasing me.

Why is it my 9yr old boy's skin is still so smooth and his smell is delicious and he makes me laugh so much with his wit. Last week he climbed up onto my knee and fell asleep in my arms, that hasn't happen in years and I loved it, although I didn't complain when my husband carried him up the stairs to bed as my arms were numb.

Why is my baby growing up so fast. She turned 2 last Friday and big celebrations were had. We had a bouncing castle and slide, a Mickey Mouse cake, Peppa Pig decorations and 27 kids. Yes I did say 27 other kids in my house. My 2yr old is so clever, she can talk in full sentences, count to 10, recognizes shapes, sings songs and now has learned the art of telling Mammy everything the other kids do.
Yay, I have a new informer, the 9yr old has been the very best informer so far and has managed to drive his older siblings mental with the telling of tales. He is an excellent squealer, as they call him. However, he is now getting a taste of his own medicine as she, the 2yr old, tell me all the bold things he does or says. hehehe.

Why is it I feel better after writing all that down.

Anyway, I don't have any answers to why life is as it is. It just is.

Rant, over and out.

Yummy Mammy needs help.

2009-09-21T14:02:00.000-07:00

http://http://yummiemammy.blogspot.com/

A Real Irish Wake...r.i.p

2009-09-18T16:49:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday the 15th of September 2009, the world lost an absolute gentleman, my father-in-law died. After a long undiagnosed illness his body finally gave up.
My mother in law was away in Lourdes, France, as nobody expected this outcome.

My husband and his siblings had to meet their mother at the airport and tell her that her husband was gone. Devastating stuff. She had to make decisions on when or what to do about the funeral.
Here in Ireland, we have old fashioned wakes. It is a wonderful way to give people a great send off. There ways of wakes have been done for years and it truly is a great way of dealing with the grief and everyone know what to do.
My father in law died at app. 7.45am, by 8.30 that night he was in his home, in his open coffin. There he would stay until Thus morn in the best room of the house so people can come and say goodbye and pay their respects to the family. It is tradition that the deceased will not be left alone in the room at all for the 2 days before the funeral. People come to the home and see, touch or kiss him goodbye. It is tradition to offer the visitors a drink, a cup of tea or a drop of whiskey(or whatever is your fancy) and a bite to eat. Basically, everyone get drunk around the coffin with people in and out of the house all day long.
My father in law was a very popular man, he was loved and adored by many. All his brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, grandchildren, friends, workmates, people he went to school with, nieces, nephews, neighbours, friends of his children, teachers of his children, hospital staff, all my family and friends, my aunts and uncles all my husbands workmates all came and paid their respects to this man in his home.
That's alot of people. I never made as much tea in all in all my life. I never ate as many sandwiches either. People come out of the woodwork to help out the family. I didn't have to ask for babysitters, friends just offered their services while brushing away my thanks.

My children has lost their Granda. My children were/are devastated. My husbands heart is broken. My mother in laws heart is broke. This is the saddest shit I have ever had to deal with. This is the first time i my life I have been so involved in death.

My mother in law wanted her kids and grandchildren close by her all the time. She wanted each grandchild to be involved in the mass on Thurs morning, from the oldest at 22 to the youngest, (my baby)2yrs.
They each had a job to do. They each did their jobs without breaking down. I was so proud of them all. There is 11 grandchildren that are very close to each other and became even closer these past few days.
After the mass and burial of my father in law we headed off to his local pub and had food and then the drinking began. The older children were there for a little while and then they were collect by their sitters.
The place was completely packed full of people to give this wonderful man great send off. I got hugged and kissed by loads and loads of people(hope no-one has swine flu!) I got to speak to people I haven't seen in years. We all had the best craic. It was a true Irish wake. He would have loved it.

Things I have experienced the last few days;

I watched my husband carry his fathers coffin.
I watched 6 grown men carry this coffin with tears streaming down their cheeks.
My mother in law asked me "What will I do now?" I had no answer.
I saw my kids write letters/draw pictures for their Granda, to put in his coffin, with the tears flowing down their cheeks.
I saw the most amazing amount of human kindness.
I saw old men cry.
I listened to fabulous stories of my father in law as a lad.
I laughed so much.
I cried so much.
I drank too much.
I smoked too much.
I have never felt so much love.

My lovely father in law, G.
Thank you for being you. Thank you for making my husband the amazing man he is, thank you for loving me, thank you for allowing me to care for you in your illness, thank you for loving my children. I love you. I promise we will all take great care of your wife. I promise you will never be forgotten.
Rest in peace.

London pics.

2009-09-14T17:14:00.001-07:00

My little bro, my hubsand and me, walking the steets of London.

We had an absolute ball.

We got to meet all my baby brothers workmates, who were lovely and assured me they were looking after him.

We did some sight seeing for my Hubs, who has only been to London to see a football match, therefore only saw the pubs of London.

We ate beautiful food all weekend.

We drank lovely things all weekend.

Mostly we just laughed alot, side-splitting laughing.

I didn't miss my kids one bit. I caught my husband showing the kids pictures to people we just met, we had agreed not to talk about kids as we were the only people of a group of about 12 to have kids. Cheater.

My parents said the kids were really good for them and that they were a pleasure.

Baby N seemed happy to see us at first and then she gave us the cold shoulder, its like she was pissed off with us for leaving her. Took her about an hour to warm up to us and then she was grand. The other three said we weren't gone long enough, little shits!!

All in all, it was a grat weekend and something we will be doing again, thanks to Ryanair for their cheap flights.

2009-09-14T17:03:00.000-07:00

Just checking if this will work.

This was baby N in her big sisters room, amusing herself.

London Baby

2009-09-08T14:17:00.000-07:00

This weekend my husband and I will head over to London for 3 days, to see my brother and his husband.

WITH NO CHILDREN!!

This will be the first time since our honeymoon, 8 yrs ago, that we have got away with no children.
To say we are excited is an understatment.
I cannot fecking wait to spend time with my husband without the kids. Imagine having all that time with no conversation interrutions and no little head wreckers fighting around us. Its going to be class.
Much and all as I adore my kids, I so need a break, we both do.

My parents are taking all four children. The kids will be spoiled rotten all weekend. My poor father will have baby N with him constantly. They adore each other. My mother actually said she was looking forward to this weekend. They are wonderful Grandparents, as are my in-laws. My parents are the ones that live across the road from us, so the kids will still be able to play with all their friends and cousins that live in our area. The kids are really excited to be sleeping in their nanny's house. so everyone is happy.

When in London we will go out on the piss, sleep late, do a tiny bit of sighting seeing(all depending on hangovers), have an Indian meal. We are going over there on a budget so there will be no shopping(boo hoo) We get to spend time with a couple that we have the best laugh and discussions with.
I am so excited. The only thing is my kids are driving me mental this week. I am so tired, with everyone back to school and having to get up so early, I feel wrecked. I feel like a narky auld bitch. I really want to be nice to my kids so that when I am away I won't feel guilty about being so weedy with them all week. And we are travelling on an airplane on 9/11, so theres that.

Going head off now and go on Facebook. Bye.

Big Girl!!!

2009-08-28T01:14:00.000-07:00

This morning I dropped my eldest daughter off to Secondary School.

She is so excited and nervous and so is her Mammy!!

She is at an all girls, catholic school, the same one I started almost 20 years ago.

Most of the girls from her primary school is going to this secondary school and my 2 nieces and my good friends daughter, so she will know plenty of girls.

I just can't believe I have a daughter this old.... fucksake its mental.

The photo is a bit blurry, thats becausse my hands were a bit shaky, nerves and all that.

Heres hoping she has a great time and takes it a bit more seriously than her Mammy did nearly 20 yrs ago.

Love you SO much sweetheart xx

Dublin Zoo 2009

2009-08-12T15:32:00.000-07:00

So, today went brought our kids to the Zoo.

Well, we were really there for baby N because she has never been. The other 3 were excited to see her reaction to the animals not too mad about the animals.

Baby N loved it she was talking up a storm, imitating the animals as best she can. She said everything was "cute" and "N rub it" to ALL the animals except the crocodiles, she said they were "ger-ey"(scary) and "N no like it" I swear she was so cute.

We brought a picnic because the prices of the food at the ONLY zoo in Ireland are astonishingly expensive.

I thought my legs were going to fall off with all the walking.

I thought my ears were going to bleed from the complaining of some children, about the walking.

Anyway, the rain held off and the sun made a short but memorable appearance, which translates as a fantastic day in Ireland.

I took a few photos which I will try to upload now.

Sisters....wow

2009-08-09T12:56:00.000-07:00

So these are my two girls. My two daughters. Born 10 years apart.

M the elder one, insisted that the baby in my belly was going to be a girl and although I really wished it was, I kept telling her that baby boys were lovely too. I didn't want her to be disappointed.

Anyway, I needn't have worried, she was right, it was a girl, baby N.

The day N was born and the kids came up to the hospital to meet their new sister, M took one look at N and turned to me and said "I love her so much already"

Every single day for the past 22 months M tells N she loves her at least 5 times a day.

M takes baby N up to her room, she gets her drinks , she plays with her, she has an endless amount of patience with her she teaches her. She is like another little Mammy.

Baby N ABSOLUTLY adores M. When she falls or hurts herself or just upset, first she wants her Mammy and then she wants/needs a cuddle from M.

Sometimes she even wants M before her Mammy or Daddy.

For the past 22 months I have watched the both of you fall in love and adoration with each other.

Its warms my heart in a way that is unexplainable, its so much.

As I have no sister myself, I feel this is the greatest gift I have given these girls, the gift of each other.

I expect in the future there will be fights and arguments as you both grow and change but I know for sure you will always keep this intense love you have for each other.

May you girls be there for each other as friends and confidantes, in the future and I will look on in pride.

I will be looking at you both with a warm and full heart, knowing it was me who gave you the gift of each other.

Love forever my beautiful precious princesses.

2009-07-09T16:45:00.000-07:00

So the weather has changed and its back to being shitty rain again.

Anyway, things have gone so brilliantly lately I swear its all my positivity. I try so hard to be postive. I did read the Secret you know!

We got a few bob back from the tax office, which has been great. I am leathal with a few pound, it burns a hole in my pocket. I bought a new camera because the baby, N, broke my last two, its my own fault for leaving it within her reach, fuckin eejit that I am. I also got my hair done. I got highlights, colour and cut, it cost me 135 euro. I nearly collapsed at the price. I really love the short hair it makes me feel a little more glam no matter what I wear. I also got clothes for the kids, in Penny's. Its a great shop for inexpensive clothing. I spent 100 euro and had bags of stuff. We also saved a few bob to go back to Florida in 2011. We asked the kids which would they prefer, go to Spain on a package holiday or wait and go to Florida in 2 years, it was unanimous.

The kids are doing fine, they are enjoying their holidays filled with climbing tress, riding bikes making camps, endless trips to the shop for sweets and icepops, fighting with other kids, fighting with each other, in the house out of the house ALL DAY LONG.

The baby is 21 months soon. She is saying everything. The poor thing has been sick for the past week and doesn't know whats wrong with her. All day she says "Belly sore, wub it" I brought her to the doctor today, he reckons its a viral infection and she just has to ride it out. Love paying 60 euro for the doctor to tell me I needen of bothered, not. She is starting to get really angry when she is told "no" hitting and kicking us all. The kids laugh at her which doesn't help, I have tried putting her on "the bold chair" which I think she is starting to understand. Lets just see how it goes, shall we.

This weekend my baby brother is visting from London with his husband. My parents are having a family get-together. That is 12 adults and 13 kids, kids ages ranging from 13 - 21mths (I have the oldest and the youngest kid) for food and drink. This will be the first time all my family will be together in over 2yrs. Thats a long time. Wasted time that will never be returned. We are all really looking forward to it. As we all(mostly) live VERY close to each other, it will be a piss -up and then walk the few steps home. Last Saturday nite me and the hubby were at a fancy dress party and had a great time, weren't home until the wee hours(5am) Luckily my parents had the kids most of the day Sunday so they didn't get to see their mother with a hangover. So that is two weekends running with going out and getting a little pissed. Ah fuck it, I'm Irish its expected!!

Watching Big Brother UK this year again. I love big brother but this year they have no eye candy for us girls only a gorgeous gay fella. Still watching it though, as there is fuck all else on the telly at the minute.

Heading off on the 24th to out little slice of heaven for 10 days. County Cavan. A log cabin in the middle of nowhere surrounded by nature. A holiday home my parents bought 2yrs ago and we take full use out of it whenever we can. Cavan here we come very soon!!

Irish Summer

2009-06-01T11:38:00.000-07:00

Well, for the past 3 days the sun has come out!!!!
We haven't had weather like this in over 3 years, so its just class.

We went to the beach today for a couple of hours. It was the babys first visit. She wasn't too sure about the sand at first but she loved the water. Her big brothers and sister was having so much fun in the sand she eventually joined in. They made loads of sandcastles, ruined each others efforts, called each other names, wrecked our heads a little, but it was all grand.

On Saturday, we headed to a huge playground and had a picnic. We brought an extra 4 kids. After the playground, we had the extra kids parents over to our house for a BBQ. All the adults got slightly pissed and the kids ran around until about 11pm. Then we put all the kids to bed and continued to get very pissed. We had such a good laugh. We all needed it.

Dying with a hangover, we had to "mind" my lovely father-in-law, who has been sick, of late.
We managed to get through the day. Thank fuck. I crashed about 10pm last night and had a lovely lie-on this morning.

In the sibling department, there has been progress and I am hopeful that it will be sorted this week because we all have to attend my nieces Confirmation on Saturday. My niece asked me to be her sponsor, I am honoured. I just have to get myself a pair of purple high heels shoes, to go with my dress and then I am sorted for the Confirmation.

I feel excited, scared and nervous about life at the moment. I am learning more about myself these days. I have had such a bad opinion of myself lately, it is lovely to see myself through other peoples eyes. For now I am trying to not be so hard on myself.

I can't post any pictures because my baby broke my camera, d lickle shit :)
I still don't know how to link to other people in a post and have been too fixcated with Facebook lately to google how to do it.

Slainte.

Eh....Hi

2009-05-27T15:32:00.000-07:00

A few things have happened around here lately.

Firstly, the trouble with my siblings seem to be coming closer to an end.
Although I did have to make all the moves, I don't mind.
I saw first hand how this fallout has damaged our parents and my God it was painful to watch.
Watching my father, who is one of my heroes, breakdown, gave me the strength to sort things
out. I made the first move and we (my brother and I) exchanged a few texts that will hopefully
lead to clearing things up. We are all stubborn fuckers. We are all extremely hurt with how long
we have not spoken. I can hardly remember the reasons for this fall out. All I know is that I
haven't spoken to this brother in over 3 years.

Its awful.

The other brother I fell out with ,was going through a really bad time and I got in touch with him and we seem to be on our way to a full recovery of our relationship. It was easier with him as he may have needed the extra support and all I needed was tomake the first move.
Never in my life did I ever imagine that my brothers and I could have this huge fall out.
I love my brothers so much but we really don't know how sort out any disagrements without not speaking to each other. Its fucking silly.
Please God let us have learned something from this.

My other 2 brothers are lovely especially the baby brother, he is one of my best friends.

In other news, the baby is saying loads and has us all amazed by her. She is 19mths now.

The 13yr old is getting so cheeky, for a fella with his language difficulties, he really knows how to
answer back.

The 12yr old is just lovely. I am really enjoying her at this age. She is starting to see me as a person rather than just her Mammy.

The 9yr old is as cute. He still climbs up on to my knee for cuddles. He is my little informer.

The 18yr old is going to have a baby in November of this year. This will make us Grandparents
at 36 and 39. We have had a while now to settle with the feelings surounding this and its okay.

Thats all I have for now. I am going to use this blog as a place to really be honest. Fuck it. I have only told 2 people about it. My husband and my brother(the best friend one)

Bye for now.

This sickens my ass!!

2009-04-21T13:49:00.000-07:00

I recently had a long conversation with a friend of mine who lost his job.He was in a reasonably good job and after a little bit of overtime was earning a gross salary of €35,000 per year.So I asked him the obvious question of how he was going to cope now with four children to feed and, I have to be honest, the answer startled me.He was actually a lot better off and now in a position to go out golfing every day while his children are at school.Frankly, I did not believe him until I sat down and did the sums. On a salary of €35,000, his annual net income after the mini Budget was €28,854, after all deductions.Now he is on the supplementary welfare allowance which -- with a wife and four children -- gives you €443.90 per week, or €23,083 annually.As he also has a mortgage, he is entitled to mortgage interest supplement which pays all the interest on your mortgage. In his case, this was €1,200 per month of his €1,500 mortgage, or €14,400 per annum.He is also entitled to back-to-school and footwear payment of €905 per year for four children, a medical card which is worth, on average, say €500 per year (probably more) and a heating supplement which I cannot quantify.In total, he now has tax-free income of €38,888, an increase in his net income of €10,034 per year for working on his golf handicap.Based on the calculations after the mini-Budget, you would need to earn more than €47,000 per year if you have four children to justify continuing to work.This is even before taking into account the costs of working, such as petrol, car maintenance, tolls, lunches and so on.Now in any civilised society, and especially in a society in a deep recession with a huge welfare bill, surely the government must give people an incentive to go out and work Making the child benefit taxable or means tested later this year is just going to make the situation worse and encourage more people to give up work and rely on the State to live.It could even drive our small economy to collapse as the welfare bill gets bigger and bigger as more people, including myself, ask: why should I bother to go out to work when it is basically costing me money to work?Unless something radically changes, I will be joining my mate on the golf course very soon.
name and address supplied.

The above letter was printed in an Irish newspaper today.
This is what is happening all over this country.
Its a fucking disgrace.
Whats the point in being employed.

Might be learning how to play golf myself too.

Pure Crap.

2009-01-05T16:42:00.001-08:00

I am crap at this having a blog shit.

I have looked back at my other posts and they are pure crap.

I wouldn't read a blog as crap at this.

All crap aside. I have my other shit together.

Things are going really great.

2008 was a great year for this family and for me personally.

The kids are doing great, all making many changes. Most of the changes are great but there is a few that would wreck your head.

I want 2009 to be the year my husband and I take some time away to ourselves, get a social life, look after the grown ups of this house a bit more. Like most parents we do everything for and with our children. 2009 is for us.

Going now to read my book, The Sunflower Forest and fall asleep on the sofa.

Slainte.

Is it just me....

2008-12-10T15:47:00.000-08:00

or is this picture hilarious??

At 14 months now she is changing in front of our eyes everyday. She continues to amazes us all and she continues to put a smile on EVERYONE she meets faces. She is extremely sociable and LOVES people.

In the backround pushing her, is one of her devoted brothers ,while the rest of us watch in stiches at the laughs of her.

Counting my blessings today.

My Irish Christmas.

2008-12-09T15:10:00.000-08:00

At the moment am loving Christmas, all things Christmas, there is even a new Christmas radio channel with just Christmas music, its fucking class!! I am more excited than the kids and they are really excited. Christmas is truly my favourite time of year. I love the traditions my little family have created.
On Christmas Eve we have a few friends and family over and then go to the children's mass in our local church. Come home then bath kids, they get into their jambos, leave out the all important cookies and milk for Santy and carrots for the reindeers and then head to bed sick with anticipation........the main man does his stuff.The kids usually wake around 7 these last few years and we all go down together to see what they got from Santy. Its a joy to watch their faces. Around 9 my husband cooks a full fry, (rashers, sausages, eggs, white pudding, beans and bread) my parents usually walk the 20 steps from their house for breakfast and my stepdaughter and her sister will be there too( My stepdaughter arrives over to our house at 8am to see what Santy left every year, she has brought her little sister in last few years this year, she, the sister will have her 7mth old baby with her).
Around 11ish my parents-in-law come down with my brother-in-law and stay for a couple of hours. Then when they go we have a little tidy up and getting our Christmas dinner ( prawn cocktail and corn on the cob for starters then Turkey, Ham, gravy, roast potatoes, mashed potatoes, turnip, carrots, brocolli, cauliflour, peas, stuffing and then something delicious for desert- my mouth watering as I type) After stuffing our faces we chill out by the fire, have a Christmas movie on, kids play with their new stuff, the Quality Streets and Roses opened, maybe have a drink.
Later my brother and his husband come over to us and we all get drunk and silly play with all the kids stuff have a singsong, generally being fucking eejits and having a ball. On St Stephens Day my parents, my bro and his hubs all have dinner together in our house, basically same on menu again. We either visit my family or they visit here and same with my hubs family. We all live in the same area(which is not unusual in this country).Usually we have a few friends over that night to have drinks and a laugh. Its been the same for the last few years since the shit hit the fan and I can really enjoy myself.
I am so grateful for the life that I have and realize how lucky I am and I am really trying to be positive, can you tell??
Anyway, this Pollyanna has to go now and read the new book she got today while her hubs plays the PS3 and they ignore each other happily.

Thanks

2008-11-27T06:59:00.000-08:00

I would just like to say THANK YOU to the people who have commented here. I never expected anyone to comment and you have and said some really nice things.

I really don't know what to do with this blog. I can think of loads of things I want to write about but then my mind goes blank when I try a new post. Also, many of the blogs I read have had really nasty shit wrote about them and I'm not sure I could handle that. I would love to find the confidence not to give a shit what others thought about me but thats not how it is at the moment. Maybe one day I will just say what I want and not give a shit.

*********************

Anyway, my kids are home from school now so I better get on with things like homework, making dinner, taxi-ing the kids to activities, put another wash on, fold clothes, picking up after my kids, repeating myself 100 times, all before 9pm tonight when we will all (not the baby, she'll be asleep, please God)sit down to watch "I'm a Celebrity...get me out of here!"
We are loving the new series, its disgusting what these Z list "celebrities" will do, but highly entertaining to us.
Cheers 'till next time.

Dreams really do come true!

2008-11-11T15:31:00.000-08:00

With the man of the moment. As Mickey himself says Dreams really Do come true!!

What an amazing experience. We had a fabulas time with added bonuses. Back now to reality, back to extremely cold weather school, music, football etc. I still adore Amerrica it didn't disappoint although things suprised me. Worth every single penny. Can't wait to return someday.

4 days to go!!

2008-10-21T01:39:00.000-07:00

Oh my God its 4 days until we head off to America, Disneyworld!!!!!!!!!!!
The 7 of us are going, ages 38, 35, 18, 13, 11, 8, and 1. The people in their 30's are even more excited than the rest. I just can't be-fuckin-lieve I am actually going to step foot in America. I have dreamt for years about going, literately, in my dreams its like going up to space on a rocket, everyone has to wear spacesuits. Now, even I can translate that to mean its a BIG deal for me to go to America. Looking at America from over here its seems everything is bigger better and cooler. Reading all the blogs I do realize it is really cool but we are catching up in alot of ways. I always think Ireland is where America was 10-20 years ago.
Anyway, Disneyworld for halloween is sooooooo exciting. The kids have already decided what rides they are not going on, for fuck sake. High School Musical, Star Wars, Mickey Mouse and the scariest rides ever are high on the agenda for some individuals. Food for me and the hubs is on ours, we expect to put on a few pounds eating pizza, tasting Tacos, cupcakes, pancakes etc., the list could go on forever. I want to go to Walmart, Target, a "drugstore" a mall, I want to experience EVERYTHING. The dollars look like toy money and the kids think its odd that all the money is green. They recieved dollars from both sets of Grandparents, so are all set. We have to bring back presents for about 30 kids. We are very lucky to be going on this fabulas holiday and we have worked hard for it. This will be the kids first time going on a holiday abroad, they have been to London and Leeds to visit family, so it REALLY is a big deal.
I just hope this dream holiday is everything for us, but really, I know it will be amazing, the people will be lovely, the food will be great and none of us will want to come home.

Cheeks you could eat.

2008-09-27T02:32:00.000-07:00

Mickey Mouse Clubhouse is on telly !!

Thats My Boy.

2008-09-22T01:28:00.000-07:00

This day 13 years ago my life changed forever.
This day 13 years ago I became a mother for the first time.
This day 13 years ago I fell head over heels in love with my son.
This day 13 years ago I was more terrified than I had ever been before and have been since.
Sweeheart, you were born. You have been a joy, you were such a good baby we thought that this was how all babies were(thats until your sister arrived 19 mths later) You were such a good toddler too, you had plenty of tantrums and so did I. We grew together. We learned together. You were a little behind all the milstones and that was fine with me, sure I thought you were amazing no matter what you did. When you were around 5 or 6 I noticed a few differences between you and your peers. I passed them off as you being you. That was fine until you were about 7 and a teacher mentioned you having difficulties and mentioned a word, Dyspraxia. I never heard that word before so I learned all I could about it and it made so much sense. From then on lots of different services have been in our lives,all to make your life less difficult. This has helped alot. Although you hate going o O.T,speech & Language etc, you go and just get on with it.You started secondary school this year which is a huge step but as usual you did it causing the least amount of fuss possible. I lead me the way.
Baby,you will always be my baby, I am so proud of you, you have to work harder than most people do to do simple things but you do it with smile or a laugh. You hold my heart.
Just in case you think things are always wonderful, I must let you know, You can be a narky little shit with attitude and a sarcastic mouth. You fight with your siblings and annoy the heart and soul of them. They in turn think you are shit cool. Under normal circumstances you are a very easy child and extremely east-going.
Thanks for being all that you are. Its been a pleasure so far. Here were are heading into the scary stage and I bet, like everything else you will guide me through it with you leading the way.
Happy 13 Birthday my Darling young man.

10 Months already, Baby.

2008-09-04T15:37:00.000-07:00

Hey Sweetheart,
You are 10 mths now and it has just flew by. You took your first steps yesterday, so that means you hold the record of being our fastest walker. You are a very clever girl who charms everyone you meet. Its hilarious how you reach out to total strangers, you love people and it shows. You have us all wrapped around your finger. You make us all so happy.
You are making yourself heard in this house especially loud at the moment.
You say Mama and Dada to the correct one of us, you can actually say your Daddy's real name too. You are REALLY advanced for your age.
You simply adore your siblings, especially your big Sis M. You adore ALL your grandparents and they in turn Adore you.
You have given this family so much joy in your short life and I can't wait to see what comes next.
Lots of Love,
Mammy.

27 things about me....

2008-08-07T16:36:00.000-07:00

1. I am 34.
2. I married my first and only boyfriend.
3. Together 17 yrs.
4. Married 7 yrs.
5. Nuts about him.
6. We had 3 kids before we wed.
7. 1 kid since we wed.
8. I have 4 brothers no sisters.
9. Only speak to 2 brothers.
10. It still shocks me that no.9 happened.
11. I hate being pregnant.
12. I love being a mother.
13. Some days I am a crap one.
14. My life-long dream is to visit America.
15. My dream is coming true in Oct 08. Horray!!!
16. I am scared I have started a blog.
17. No-one has my blog address.
18. I am a big chicken.
19. I am naturally good with kids of all ages.
20. I am a special need assistant when I am working outside the home.
21. I wear my heart on my sleeve.
22. I have loads of stretch marks on my belly.
23. I had 4 c-sections.
24. I have a little pouch I have to tuck into my panties.
25. I am grateful for my body.
26. I am no great on the computer.
27. I can't think of more crap without sounding anymore like a gobshite.

Rant

2008-06-19T06:01:00.000-07:00

God I love my kids but boy do the drain the absolute life out of me.

My lovely 11 yr old daughter WAS an angel (ish)up until about 3 wks ago. She has turned into the grumpiest moodiest girl in the world, she is doing my head in. I suspect its her age but for fuck sake whats with the depressed head on her ALL the time. I feel I am constantly saying "give your face a party and Smile please" Everyone one is noticing it even her clueless brothers. How the hell am I going to get through the next few years without causing war in this house. She is so much like her mother its scary.

The Baby has started to wake up at night ,ready to party and so I am knackered and then weedy with the others during the day. Its a vicious circle. She is really cute and in the morning I usually forget how bad she was during the night. Her new nickname is "Boldilocks" as in not goldilocks. I try to refrain from saying Boldilocks and the 3 brats but it has a lovely ring to it.

My eldest boy, whos 12, has always had difficulty with his language, has caught up and is having great fun explaining to me in great detail how wrong I am doing things, like what is the point in in punishing him for eating a mars bar before dinner when "its in the past Mam, I can't change the past only the future" God its fustrating but am thrilled that his language skills have developed.

Youngest boy, whos 8, is really adorable but boy can he talk and talk and talk. He is actually very shy and saves all his words for us at home which is wonderful.

So who did I miss out on..... mmm let me see.

No thats it, rant over.

Cuteness!!

2008-03-19T16:34:00.001-07:00

Never know what to write here, but isn't that baby sooooooo cute!!

Baby #4 and stuff

2008-02-04T05:04:00.000-08:00

Our Baby is one week away fron 4 months, She is adorable. Fourth time round seems so much easier. Maybe its to do with all the help I have from her siblings or maybe its because I'm older and Know more(?)
She wakes up smiling and is extremly placid.
We simply adore her.
The love and attention is amazing, you'd think she would demand more attention but she doesn't.
She is beautiful, even though her 8 year old brother has likened her to E.T and Chewbacca from Starwars.
While pregnant I tried to explain to the other kids how brilliant it would be to have a new baby in the house but all they wanted was their sane mother back and this lunatic-that-stole-their -mothers -personality gone. Now its amazing, they can't wait to see her in the morning, they insist on cuddling her before school and their main goal in life is to make her smile.
Now she is here life is SO much busier though. The usual stuff like homework, activities, making dinner etc., all seem just a little more difficult. Difficult ok though.
I wanted this so badly and feel very lucky to be where I am. I am lucky enough to stay at home and won't return to work until the baby begins school, as I did with the others.
I realize this is a luxury in this day and age.
Today I am grateful for my life and must remember this when I am bogged down later with homework and 3 kids trying to have conversations with me at once, settling all them SO important fights between them etc.

First ever Post.

2008-02-01T08:32:00.000-08:00

Hi, I'm J from Ireland.

I have been reading blogs for the past year or 2. I love the sense of community you get when you read comments. The blogs I read are mainly Americian ,Canadian and south African. I love hearing how other people do things, with lives similar to mine. I finally got the nerve to comment only recently. I have learned so much from these blogs, great ideas and great laughs. So I wanted to feel less like a stalker and maybe a little part of the community, well totally on the outskirts.
I have absoultly NO WRITING TALENT, but have alot to say as a way of remembering/documenting my life. I called it " Has the fog cleared yet?" due to the mix of having a new baby and the whole coming out of pregnancy crap. To me, it felt like a fog.
I am doing this for my children also to document their lives and as a way to share/vent about my life . I actually have a nice life mixed with your usual bullshit. I am Irish so therfore I swear.
I am married to The Husband. I gave birth 4 times in 95, 97, 99 and 07. I have a 17 yr old step-daughter too. I met my husband when I was 17 and married him 10 yrs later. At that stage we had our 3 children and stepdaughter. Christmas 06 we decided to have another child so Oct 2007 we added our baby.
I hope to keep this blog secret from everyone I know in real life. I did tell my husband I was doing it 'cause not would be a little sneaky.

This feels kinda weird, like I am the only one in a big huge room, weird but good.